Godfather Reboot Planned for Pattinson, Stewart, Bono & Cruise

Paramount Pictures today announced a reboot of “The Godfather” franchise. “We’re taking a more youthful approach,” exclaimed Brad Grey, Chairman and CEO. “Al Pacino is really old and I’m pretty sure Marlon Brando and James Caan are dead. Today’s ticket-buyers don’t relate to old people or dead people.”

McG has already been announced as the director, with Robert Pattinson taking over the Al Pacino role, Kristin Stewart in the Diane Keaton role and Chaz Bono in the role previously played by Marlon Brando.

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A new character, an Italian vampire/supermodel named Angelica D’Amour, will be portrayed by Suri Cruise. “While Suri will be digitally aged for the role,” Mr. Grey said, “she will bring her many years of experience being photographed to the table, and that translates to at least a People Magazine cover.”

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